


Rillith Blows up Central HQ

by Tathamet



Series: Our Reality - Side Stories [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Stuff Blowing Up, prank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 10:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3806761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tathamet/pseuds/Tathamet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's exactly what it says on the tin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rillith Blows up Central HQ

Aegis glanced around his office, worried. There wasn't anything wrong, really; no one was attacking, none of the Devils had broken free of their seals, and the Mardukans were staying quiet. There was really nothing interesting for him to do, which was why he was doing the paperwork he normally doled out to his many secretaries. Everything was painfully peaceful and quiet, for once.  
No, with all this peace and quiet, Aegis was only worried about the Assassin Division's activities... or lack thereof.  
The assassins had shut themselves away in their corner of the campus. No one had seen them, not even Saeka, who often spent her time wandering around the tunnels that the Assassin Division had made on their own, without any permission from anyone.  
Anyone else might think nothing of "missing assassins" (he was sure Saeka had been lying to him), and go about their daily business. Aegis, however, was the founder and head of the Grim Incarnation, and he had known Rillith for many, many centuries. He had been the victim of most of her pranks, and knew that when she hid herself and her minions away for long periods of time, something very bad was going to happen.  
...  
Underground, in the massive tunnels located just below central HQ, was a massive Rube Goldberg machine with well over 40,000 different parts. Rillith tuned into the secret channel of the Assassin's Division, and smirked when she got a message from one of her assassins, notifying her that it was time. Everyone was where they needed to be for it to work, finally.  
She gave Saeka a thumbs up, who nodded and slashed the first wire, setting off a massive chain reaction that would spread its way through the entire Grim Incarnation campus. Rillith cackled as she watched the machine they had spend months working on go off. She could feel the tunnels shaking slightly under the force of the many part of their creation go off.  
She couldn't wait to see the looks on everyone's faces.  
...  
Aegis froze mid-word, feeling the vibrations of something from underground. He instinctively slipped into the flow, trying to feel for any killing intent that could possibly mark the presence of an intruder, but felt nothing. Frowning, he turned to the Titans, pondering if that snickering he could hear in his mind could have anything to do with it.  
“ _Nidhogg? Bahamut? Tiamet? Do any of you know what those vibrations I'm feeling are?_ ” Aegis asked, slightly annoyed at Nidhogg's and Tiamet's snickers.  
_“No. How would we even know, Aegis? We're locked in your soul. If you don't know, we don't know._ ” Bahamut chided calmly.  
“ _You might want to brace yourself, though, bruh._ ". Aegis tilted his head, wondering what Tiamet meant as he left his inner world. He jumped as he heard loud crash and turned to find that one of the walls in his office had collapsed, and more knives than he could count were coming straight at his face. Suddenly, he realized why the assassins had been in hiding for so long.  
“Rillith, you son of a...” was all the young God had to say before the knives were upon him.  
…  
Elsewhere, at about the same, Ragnar was sparring with a fellow warrior in the arena, working to improve the skills of one of his newer trainees. He was strong, but his technique was sloppy, and so the leader of the Warrior Division was set on improving his fighting style. He'd make an great warrior in due time.  
“Don't lock your arms when you block. If your opponent swings with enough force, they can break them. Keep your arms slightly bent, like this.” Ragnar explained, showing the trainee. They paused when they suddenly felt the vibrations rocking the campus, and heard a crash from the direction of Aegis' office.  
“What was that?” The trainee asked, sounding just a little nervous. He probably thought there was an intruder blowing things up. Ragnar hadn't gotten around to teaching him how to sense energy yet. The guy was really a noob.  
“Not sure, but considering that it came from Aegis' office, we don't need to worry. Whatever it is, he can take care of it. We should focus on our training and let him handle it.” Ragnar said. He paused and sniffed.  
“What's that burning smell?” Ragnar asked no one in particular. The trainee shrugged, looking just as confused.  
Then, everything went white as the arena exploded.  
…  
Rillith observed from the secret observation deck the assassins had set up, as parts of the campus exploded, one after another. Everything had gone perfectly, despite the many failures they had encountered along the way.  
She was a little miffed that they couldn't get to the High Council meeting room or Aegis' personal quarters, but seeing the chaos their creation was causing was more than enough to cancel out the disappointment. She couldn't wait to see everyone's face once they realized what happened (or _who_ had happened), as the Assassin's Division barracks would be the only structure that remained unaffected.  
…  
Auxillio was in the Grim Incarnation's main campus hospital, treating a patient who had had his back ripped wide open by a Mardukan that had ambushed him during a patrol around Veiled Island. The healer had heard the explosions and ignored them, simply assuming that the assassins were playing pranks on the warriors (or Aegis), whom he was sure he would have to treat for at least moderate injuries.  
“There, all patched up. Just try not to move around too much, and tell Ragnar that I want you to take two weeks off, to give your body time to recover. You lost a decent amount of blood. If you start feeling weak, dizzy or if you have trouble breathing, and find yourself getting fatigued faster than usual, come see me immediately.” He instructed.  
The warrior nodded and thanked him before leaving. Auxillio headed back to his office, looking forward to enjoying a cup of coffee before treating another patient. He opened the door to his office and paused, confused as the fire alarms sounded.  
“Why is my office on fire?”  
…  
Within minutes, most of the campus was in ruins, having either been blown up, or set on fire. The only buildings that were spared were the library, which was fiercely guarded by the Mage Division, and the Assassins' barracks. Rillith sat outside in a lawn chair, fighting with sheer willpower to hold in her laughter and keep a straight face as Aegis approached her, knives embedded in various parts of his body.  
“Rillith, what the hell did you do?” Aegis asked after the carnage had come to an end and knives had stopped flying at him. He didn't even bother trying to hide his anger.  
“Oh, nothing. Why do you ask?” She somehow managed to reply calmly, feigning innocence. Aegis rolled his eyes. He was obviously resisting the urge to smack her upside the head. Or break her nose, perhaps.  
“80% of the campus has blown up, and another 18% is on fire. Only the heavily shielded areas are spared, as well as - interestingly enough - the Assassin Division barracks. So tell me, what did you do?” He demanded. Rillith laughed.  
“Nothing much, just built a 40,000 part Rube Goldberg machine with my fellow assassins for our April Fools prank.” She explained nonchalantly.  
Aegis' eye twitched as he swung a fist, which connected with the wall due to Rillith disappearing, her laughter fading. He sighed in frustration and turned around, trying to figure out where to start working on repairs.  
“Sometimes, I wonder why I keep her around...” Aegis muttered, wincing as he tried to ignore the roaring laughter of Nidhogg and Tiamet. Suddenly, there was a flash and another explosion lit up the sky, though this one looked more like fireworks. Aegis looked up and read the words that appeared, nearly going berserk in anger as they slowly faded away.  
_**Happy April Fools from the awesome and amazing Assassin Division!**_


End file.
